2011.
I’ve been trying to blog for months now, and well here’s my last attempt; it only came out like this. This 365th day of 2011 blog is composed of old drafts on Tumblr, writings in my notebooks, phone, and several word documents throughout the year. I left some of things unsaid and unfinished. And whatevs, despite what people think, we write for ourselves. Like what bestfriend says, “I blog for me.”
- Like this, I use to write really long blogs on my Xanga.
- These are some funny pictures I keep on my desktop, all with a funny & memorable story from this year.
- I haven’t had any personal blogs in so long. I may not know why I mentioned all these things, what I meant, if I should’ve posted this, but maybe I’ll figure out why I said this later on in life.
- I tend to write a lot in blurbs and free writes. Funny thing is I tend to forget what my initial point of my writing was once I finish. I go off too many tangents. Same goes for speaking and thinking. Story of my life, makes it interesting.
-I’m probably gonna edit this a thousand times after I post this. I had a deadline to meet haa.
- I’m happy.
- I’m pretty sure I can live without Facebook. Twitter and Tumblr are all I need.
- I’ve learned to live without a phone, and I could do without. So if we’d ever exchange numbers, I’m sorry in advance.
- College is tough.
- Being a UC student is tough.
- There have been days when I tried to defy the laws of life’s gravity and get out of bed.
- I’ve lived days that can seem auto-piloted and pretty gray. But then I remember the people that make life so vivid and vibrant.
- Sarah Kay is my hero.
- I’ve really fallen in love with spoken word poetry.
- I reached a standpoint in life where I found everything I once thought made me happy and hopeful began to exhaust its meaning.
- I learned to really love my school and be proud of everything about it.
- “Whenever you get ready to give up, think about all of these people and remember that you are blessed. Remember that in exchange for those blessings, you must give something back. You must reach back and pull someone up. You must bend down and let someone else stand on your shoulders so that they can see a brighter future”(Michelle Obama – 2009 UCM Commencement speech).
- “Tears and fears and feeling proud to say “I love you” right out loud. Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I’ve looked at life that way. But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I’ve changed. Something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day. I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose, and still somehow, it’s life’s illusions I recall. I really don’t know life at all” (Joni Mitchell - Both Sides, Now).
- Precious moment: Walked out on campus one night with IVCF praying for our school, staff, and students.
- My heart was in the wrong place, but God snapped me back into reality.
- Within the year, I accumulated three different colors in my hair.
- The funny thing is God has always given me everything I asked for. I just should’ve been more prepared.
- The year has been growth at its best.
- The Hillsong concert I went to with cousins and church family was amazing.
- Auctioned myself off for One Sweet Date and got myself one sweet date.
- I danced
- Took workshops from some of my favorite choreographers.
- I’ve been to places that I never thought I would see.
- I’ve lived in a big house all by myself.
- Participated in a flash mob (LMFAO’s concert).
- I relived prom and had the best time.
- I’ve made a handful of spontaneous road trips.
- I went to an NBA playoff game.
- I’ve seen how ugly and evil the world can be first hand. But I’ve figured out how to defeat it.
- Note to self: I kept my pride, but then I thought, “So what.” We didn’t fix things. You can throw your negative words, but those words do nothing for you and it does nothing for them. But I wondered, why did they waste their energy putting people down when they had the same energy to lift them up? Help them or yourself to understand where you’re coming from because we obviously didn’t seem to take a second thought to do that. In this situation, they played with more than just their emotions. If you’re still breathing, you still have the chance to change things.
- I became friends with the one who I once saw as a enemy/stranger. I was humbled, because we actually answered each other’s prayers.
- “Of course we want to change the world, but to change with the world, we have to change our world” (Ingrid Betancourt).
- I made art! I colored my Kuya’s hair.. Never in my funniest dreams haha.
- I was introduced to hidden gems in Merced and swam in the coldest water (Rainbow Falls).
- I can’t wait to unfold the rest of my life.
- I learned that God will be and still is the only stable thing in my life. And that change is the only thing that will be constant.
- I went to Comic Con!
- I live in a dorm with 5, now 4 other girls. They bring another fun and love to my life.
- I was “Ke$ha.”
- I went to Chuckie Chesse twice this year! Whatta lucky kid.
- I am an Ate<3
- Had many fine dinings. “Wednesdays”
- I’ve been apart of the amazing things PAA has done this year<3
- I went clubbing for the first time?
- I realized I’m the worst with corny jokes, especially math & science ones.
- Howw many times have I been to LA this year?
- I loved.
- I made many mistakes.
- Ruby’s Veridiano’s workshop helped me to define my beauty. My beauty is self-worth. The image of fearlessness. The embodiment of inspiration. My beauty is genuine; it is the essence of being breath-taking. My beauty is defined by the very components that have shaped me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. My beauty is found in my confidence and intelligence formulated in the words I speak. My beauty is fabricated within my passions. Faith is the stronghold of my beauty. My beauty’s foundation is my “ethic makeup,” for my boldness generates from my roots. My beauty is found not only in my strengths but my weaknesses.
- I was enchanted to meet you.
- Pulling that shablam for the first time was probably the most daring thing I never thought I could do, especially in a battle ;)
- Knowing PAA Modern inspired the HoodRoC kids made my life. They’re my reason for living and dancing. #Inspire. HoodRoc was the best exposure for dance, Modern and Merced.
- Dear dancers, thank you for doing what you do. I will always be a fan.
- The most attractive thing is passion, especially if you can share it with me.
- It’s one thing to talk about someone, but it’s another thing to talk to them.
- I’ve really gotten to know some wonderful people and really learned how amazing the people in my family are.
- I drove from Riverside at 4am w/ a couple hours of sleep, hit LA traffic, got lost in LA, stopped in Glendale, drove through Grapevine within 15mins, stopped in Merced, drove to the Bay Area in the pouring rain, and made it back home to Tracy early enough before the sun came down.
- “I’m jealous by the way God blesses me. (Pastor)”
- This year alone, I learned that there are way more things to be thankful for and the words “Thank you” just seem like an understatement.
- I’m still blessed and can say my bestfriends are still the best things that have ever happened to me.
- To all the friends I’ve made in college, I’m glad I’m spending these moments with you, despite anything. Thank you for teaching me and giving me the chance to get to know you. It’s one of the most humbling gifts I could ask for.
- I loved the unexpected calls and check in’s from old friends.
- I literally had to close a chapter in my life.
- Some have let me down, but I love them the same.
- It’s not about me anymore. When I’m out there doing impossibly beautiful things, I only wish my loved ones would be right there with me.
- I’ve learned that the best teachers never talk during a test. And God said, “Test me in this.”
-The best road trip EVER w/ Manang. ~2,000 miles in 6 days. ~16 different freeways. ~45 different cities.
- My back has been consumed in knots.
- I’ve seen more than enough shooting stars in a lifetime. And it’s nice to know they’re not shy to shine just for me, they show up in perfect times when I’m with others. It’s wishes we both can share.
- I wish I could remember the days how it felt to pick myself back up.. But all that mattered is that I did and I’m better for it.
- Forgive yourself and others because it could really consume you. Life will have its way with you if you let it.
- In my dream we saw each other again. You were there with your smile and arms stretched out wide. We started to cry as you gave me one of your notable hugs that I’ve missed, and in your sincerest voice you said, “I know, I know.” I woke up crying happy tears. I shared that dream with you through the phone, and we just cried. You said that it was exactly what you needed to hear. </3
- Many days I was scared that I was so messed up and that I would just continue to stay that way. But throughout it all, I was fixable.
- I’m not scared anymore.
- “You can’t always please everyone. The only happiness you can take on is yours. You’re only responsible for you. And if so, change the way you see it or handle it. You can’t always give them what they want, but you can definitely give them what they need. (Manang)”
- “I’ve found that someone else’s happiness is usually infectious. (Nicholas Sparks – Dear John)”
- “The greatest loss in life is not death, it’s what dies inside while you’re still alive. The world ages us too fast. We grow up too quickly, we stop dreaming too early, and we develop the ability to worry at far too young an age.”
- My life literally took a 180 one rainy Sunday afternoon, and I stared death in the face.
- I’m a big fan of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I’d love to bring my family to NY for Thanksgiving.
- God, thank you. Thank you for life. It’s been one heck of a ride so far, and this train just won’t stop. Growing up is scary, but thank you for the people that are still here with me, your blessings, adventures, and for guiding me. The people that I love are safe, healthy, and happy; that’s more than I could ever ask for.
- I thought I had the control to fix things and protect what I loved, but for a while I forgot about a balance. I cared too much and took others on my plate. I was also used to someone else picking for me, but I learned that I have a choice. I had to remind myself what was also best for me. I can choose what I want and what makes me happy. God always makes a way.
- My Thanksgiving break consisted a lot of chick flicks and the show marathons that kept me company as I painted my nails… Whatta girl.
- Star Trek is brilliant. Why isn’t Gene Roddenberry given more props than George Lucas?! As much as I love Star Wars, Star Trek > Star Wars. I’ll probably get crap for that but hey, this is my blog. Star Trek relates to reality, it could be our future! This show is what sparked my love of looking out at the stars. Star Trek has so much depth, intellect, life lessons, and good writing.
- Although life has taken so much from us and some people that could have been here with us this year, God has always been faithful. He never fails to give us what we need, and so I’ve learned to live a life with everything at God’s disposal.
- Google+ is the best for bringing the family together. Oh the wonders of the Internet. I realized how fast life was going when manong pointed out that “Everyone has kids.” Oh gosh before you know it… Nahh, I’m the third youngest, I have a lot of growing to do, muahah.
- Skydiving story: Took a trip away from the world and fell back into it. I would’ve never thought my eyes would see sucha sight.Those who know me know my knees buckled just walking on the second floor of malls or seeing pictures of heights; I was sucha scaredy cat. Surprisingly I wasn’t scared, I was excited.
- This long waited moment came!.. Other than me falling for heaven of course *points & winks.. Lol gross, just kidding.
- In my skydiving video I said, “We wanted to jump out of the plane to find a new perspective of life.” I don’t know why I said that..?
- Why was I the first one to jump out of the plane!?
- Because when you’re up that high you see things more clearly, the bigger picture that puts everything into perspective.
- 13,000 ft. enough said.
- I remember days in elementary when I’d walk out by myself and just watch the sky move; but this day I moved it myself. The sky took on a different shade of sky blue that day.
- Skydiving was another reason to prove to myself and others that I’m not your average teenager. I told the man suiting me up, “It’s my last year of being a teen.” He replied and said, “Go big or go home!” The teen years are over; they’ve been the best and skydiving was how big I wanted it to go out. In my life I’ve been blessed. If I died, I’d be okay with that because when people die, obviously everything’s unexpected. People say, “They had a lot ahead of them” and “They could’ve been…” But I was. I’ve been me, trying to do everything I can. I believed that “If I wasn’t here anymore, I’m sure I left the world with enough of me.” Maybe I didn’t get to do everything I could’ve possibly wanted to do in life, but I believe I accomplished them to a certain extent.
- I left my written letters to my loved ones with the chances that it would be my last words to them. And I texted them telling them I loved them.
- I took the greatest leap of faith.
- What use to be one of my greatest fears, turned into my new addiction.
- One day I hope to get my skydiving license.
- So why be scared? I’d die a happy person, especially one that did something they loved; isn’t that what everyone wants?
- This was the hardest year to get by, but I’m glad to see it through. Here’s to the New Year.
